Monday, January 24, 2011
It's been a year since I started out as a cell leader. And the journey has been wonderful. Ups and Downs.. Discouragements and happy times.

I remember how hard it was to even talk to them. Ps Cat used to tell me to "come down to their level"..... And honestly? I couldn't connect with most of my cell. I remember how hard it was to go for cell, and to pretend that everything was fine, to act so well prepared and not scared, but inside I was so scared like crap. I was so afraid of failing the group, I was so afraid that they would not like me and they would hate me or find me boring. I was so afraid that I would not deliver the cell lesson as what GOD would want me to deliver it. I remember meeting Ps Cat every Wednesday to prepare my cell lesson. And even sometimes during lunch breaks in school. I was so scared. Hahahaha.

I remember in my Quiet times, praying for each of my members almost every night. I remember telling GOD that I can't do this without Him and how much I needed Him on this journey as a cell leader. Caring for members isn't just CALLING them up weekly, but rather meeting them up and checking up on them THROUGH the week. And I'm still learning that even now. I remember how discouraged I would feel after some of the cell lessons. That I'd have done a bad job at getting them to listen to me, and even getting them interested in GOD's word and even the openness with me and all. I remember feeling lousy after some of the cell lessons, and that feeling which I didn't do a good job at all. :/ All awesome times eh ^^

I remember how I used to think about my cell so much, that I can't sleep sometimes (okay not always, but there were once or twice...).. And how I'd freak out before cells. HAHAHA.... I remember how much I tried to communicate with them all, reaching out to them individually................ And failing completely. Hahaha. But I also remember the good times, where we start to bond...... And also where I see some of them getting a bit more regular with their QT after constant reminders. And lastly, when I see my cell growing bigger and bigger in numbers, After constant nagging to come for Radi8. Hahah. It truly IS rewarding to see such great improvement especially after months of ups and downs.............. Though it isn't much to some of you, but it is to me.... And I look forward to greater things from and WITH GOD in 2011 !

But now, it's a new phase and new season in life. I don't say that I'm happy or what, but I KNOW that this is good. For the better of everybody and everyone. :D I can't wait to see my kids grow spiritually and start to take care of other kids as well :)

I can't wait to see new growth (spiritually and if possible, physically too) in the new cell. AND........ of course....... lives being touched and CHANGED by GOD. Deep down, i KNOW my GOD can do it. :D

All in all, I LOVE THE GAYS!! :D hahahah! awesome journey!

Lastly, I also want to thank GOD for showing me that what I can't do, HE can do it. I don't know how I managed to do it, but I do know that praying for the group, and praying works alot....... :) The saying..... "Me + Problem = Can't.......... But..... GOD + Me + Problem = Can" .. Really applies :D From the FIRST Bible study I had until now, I can remember it sooo well..... :D

Looking back........ I am quite amazed. Through ups and downs.................... still....

Thank You Jesus! :D