Friday, October 30, 2009
:)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Rawr. Sam hasn't done the chords. RAWR.

I didnt have time to think about it through the day, and when I had time, my mom was alr home, and she has the chords in her office computer. :( Oh my.

Anyway, piano lesson was so fun today. It was the highlight of my day, in fact. Theory and all. WOW :) Thank You Jesus.

I've got nthg else to say. Tmr's school. ARGH. Sam doesn't wanna go to school tmr. But Sam has no choice.

SAM SAM SAM.... :P

Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Elliot gave me smth to read ytd in the midst of ranting to him.. Thanks dude..!

"Dry Seasons build deeper wells of faith.
It’s for days when God seems like the furthest away when he promises he is right there beside you.
It’s for days the joy in my soul evaporates.
It’s for days when the presence of God seems to pass you by.
It’s for days when your heart forgets its deepest longing.
It’s for days when reading the word feels worse than reading an engineering manuel. It’s for days when no matter how hard you try, the dryness sticks out like a sore thumb.
It’s for days when ministry or worship feels like the most hypocritical thing to do.
It’s for days where we do the things of God for the sake of doing it.
It’s for days when there is unexplainable frustration and unrest in my soul.
Then it’s esp in those days that we must persevere. becos perseverance builds character that produces hope.
we must persevere in pressing into the presence of God.
Not to exclude ourselves based on our view of our own unworthiness (we weren’t worthy to begin with) but to renew the yearning, passion and longing.
To desire the intimacy of a relationship with Christ more than anything.
To know precisely who can dissolve the frustration, settle my heart and quench my thirst.
To know that nothing else will satisfy.
To press in with such intensity that it digs deeper wells.
To feel the water rushing out of the well onto the desert.
To live is Christ."

Indeed, it spoke to me. Made me feel certain things, and realise a few more things. :)

Hmm, I've gotta get down to start on my theory work alr. It's so hard, I don't wanna look at it, but I know I have to. I know I have to force myself to do it, even though every part of me says no. I'll do my theory tonight, when I get home, and I'll practice my piano as well. :) Tomorrow's gonna be a good day. I HOPEEEEE...! :P I can do this.

School's been really really boring/tiring and yet, some days, that's a slight chance of fun involved. Hmm, yeah I guess. A tinge of fun. :P Whatever man.

Aite, see you world.

Monday, October 26, 2009
I am catching up on my journaling tonight. So many days haven't been journalling, but I have been doing QT la, only havent been journaling. ARgh. Im so lazy to journal y'know. Urgh.

So anyway, life this few days have been ... Idk. No comments. I feel so .. urgh, okay, no comments either. Mixed and stuck.

But I'll get over it. I mean, I pray I'll get over it.

Gosh, today I was talking happily, suddenly I didn't see the hand railing there, and my right hand totally knocked into it. And now it hurts so bad. Thank God it's getting better, just now I couldnt even hold my wallet because it hurt so bad. LOL. But if press it now, it'll hurt la. But still, at least it's getting better.

Im doing theory homework now. .. Yay for me. ...

Saturday, October 24, 2009
"My greatest honor will always be
To serve my Lord and King"
......
"Nothing matters when You’re here with me"

I have to learn.

Hahaha, Im currently watching my past on VCD. LOL. It is so funny. Funnily cute, makes me miss those times. LOL. Seriously funny. HAHA. Like how funny I was when I was a kid. LOL. Oh my.

Ytd youth, I played the keys. LOL GOsh. Sucked so BAD. Im lazy to type out everything, so I won't. I really have nthg to say now.

Today was an awesome day.. :) I had REALLY alot of fun. Thank You Jesus. :) Next time then type out la. Haha.

Friday, October 23, 2009
God of my Forever

Verse 1:
God of my youth I remember
Your call on my life took me over
Your love has seen me through all my days
I stand here by Your grace
On this altar I’ve written my life
Tells of a story I have with You my Lord
I want the world to know

Chorus:
God of my forever
And forever I’m with You
My life is saved with a price
Your sacrifice redeemed my soul
God of my forever
And forever I will sing
My greatest honor will always be
To serve my Lord and King

Verse 2:
God of my all I’ve surrendered
My heart finds rest in Your word
Praises will not be enough to show
How my love for You has grown
Nothing matters when You’re here with me
In the end just to hear You say “well done”
Bowing before Your throne

Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Deciding to do stuffs, doesn't mean I done already. And it sucks when I keep saying I decided, but haven't done, I just dont feel like sometimes, and gosh, I havent even started.

Anyway, ytd after school, I went for dinner with zQ. It was so fun. Had sushi :) And walked around for a bit after. :) Nice time joking and catching up with him. HEH thanks! :D Awesomeee.

I am so tired right now. HAH. But today was an overall fun day. ThanK God. :)

Woke up at 7.43am to check the time. Slept again and woke up at 8.20am, cuz needed to prac piano. So I got up, and went to prac piano. :) HAH. Practiced till 9.05am, then went to shower and all, and went for music class. :) it was so fun. HEH, as usual luh.

Then headed to Serangoon MRT to meet Gid and Miah, then we cabbed down to East Coast park to meet Ps cat and Josiah and the P6s who came for the outing. HEH. Rented blades, and while the others cycled, miah and I bladed. LOL. It was so TIRING. But fun. :) I enjoyed myself. Thank God for the awesome weather.

So anyway, headed back to church after everything, had dinner at Upper Thomson there with a few of them :) Then headed back to church. Fell asleep in the car on the way back to church. :)

Then attended prayer meeting. Hmm what else what else? Nthg else alr.

Have an awesome day tmr.

Monday, October 19, 2009
Ho ho ho, it's school again. First day of the week...! Im still thinking of what to look forward to through the day, so at least there'll be this sense of .. "OHHH YAY.. later got....." those type of feeling. Guess not. Argh.

How come it seems that I got up extremely early today, when I got up at like 7.30am... ? OH wait, my mom woke me up saying, "SAMANTHA KOH, it's 8AM already, are you going to school OR not?" ............ So I thought it was 8am, and I got up, showered, changed, stoned for a bit, looked at the time, and guess what, it was only 7.45am. But it's okay. I reached school by 8.42am, and now Im bored to death in class.

I should sleep now. Just in case I fall asleep later on. It's the class aura. Oh wait, my teacher just walked in. ...........

Hahaha. OH my. I just wish I had something else to look forward to. Other than those which is in weeks to come.

There really really really MUST be more than just this.

Oh at least there's one thing I feel accomplished about, Ive been doing my devotions every night. At least try, and ytd I honestly felt like giving up. Gosh. HAHA. But I thank God that I didnt give up.

Oh boy... :) Here we go again.

Saturday, October 17, 2009
Ytd I went to school, and was totally bored by it. Literally. Learnt about Genetics, which is like.... "WHAT WHAT WHAT! WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" OH my. Hmm, then went to church for Ministry Appreciation. Played piano, and it was enjoyable. :) Fun. Hmm, Hui Min led, and she sang "Jesus we enthrone You", in Chinese. So hard to understand where she was, I had to depend on the tune, and the chord beats. LOL. "G 2 3 4, Em 2 3 4...." blah. LOL. So fun...! :P

So anyway, ytd I had a fine chat/discussion with Ps Cat. And I decided last night to start knowing who this big God is... ? Who this God I worship is...? Basically, I decided to start seeking God more, I have to. To know who He is... I guess. What's my motivation...? LOL. I have no idea. So many things I think about, so many things I know I have to do, but HOW do I do it... ?

So anyway, today I woke up and helped my parents with their chores. A lil bit here and there. Dyed my hair brown. :) HEH. AWESOME shizz. I feel prettier already. LOL. Call me awesome. LOL :P JOKEEE.

See you World.

Thursday, October 15, 2009
Woke up extremely early today. ARGH. I have no clue as to why I got up so early. Hahaha, maybe it's cuz school starts at 8.30am today, FRIGGIN early. Goodness me. Reached class at about 8.15am. Hahah, like whatever.

Reached Woodlands at 7.40am, and had breakfast at BK. Then took a bus to school, and bought sweets. So guess what, I feel so unhealthy now. :( Feel so fattttishly disgusting. Oh gosh, Sam, you gotta start eating healthy. AND exercise. I feel so disgusting. Lol, maybe it's psychological, my tummy didn't feel too well today. EWWWW....

So anyway, last night Ps Cat, Clar, Elisha, Miah and I had this QT thinggy online. More on devotion thing. It was so fun. :) I had a chance to ask questions which I wasn't clear about, and the best part is, it's not only me asking, it's they answering too. I guess Im tired of just keep on asking and then no one answers me.

Been reading past posts once again. Last night especially. So nice. I realised that my posts can be quite interesting sometimes, like so colourful. Haha..! One thing I realised is that Jesus has never left me alone. Hahaha. Despite how lonely I feel, or how much I've failed sometimes, or even in those times where Im so bored, I realised that deep down, Jesus was always there. And He still is. ... :)

Time really pasts fast. I remember just a few mths ago, Deb and Jeremy left Singapore to go back to Australia. And now, in about 29 days, Jeremy's coming back. :D And in about 50 more days, deb'll be back with Josh. :D Heh, Then in about 52 more days, Im going to Malaysia. :) WOOHOO. It seems so fast now, but when I actually have to LIVE through the days, it's so LONG....! Take today for example. ARGH. GOSH.

There MUST be more than this. More than all of this. But what is it... ?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Aint' this pic just AWESOME? Heh. TOday was really productive, never felt so productive in quite a bit. :) Literally did alot of music today. Woke up and practiced piano, did some chords work, and then listened to my ipod till I fell asleep. Woke up in time for music class. :) Awesome fun. I had so much fun in music class just now. Heh..! Thank You Jesus! :) And I did theory just now. Haven't done any theory since like 3 years ago alr? Or maybe even longer. I feel so productive. HAHA.

Headed to church after music class with my dad. Ate dinner with my parents, and played bass for Prayer Meeting. Yeap, so far, thats my day. Tomorrow's school again. GAH...! Then time to clean up my room tmr night.

Yeap, changed blogskin BTW. Tired of the old blogskin. Time for a change. :) Its changing time..!

Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Was just looking through my past posts, and many things which happened then, many feelings I felt then...., all comes back on and off. Just that I chose to supress it and forget about those feelings, but deep down, it's all there. It still surfaces sometimes, but as time passed, I just chose the easiest way out: Supressing my thoughts, my feelings. And maybe I havent really thought about anything much. HAHA. Rawr. So anyway. lol. :)

As I was looking through past posts, I remember last time when I was in Sab's group. HAHA, so fun. I also remember how much I missed her when she left. Heh, indeed, those were the days. HEH. AND AND...... I also remember... My FAVOURITE character which I created out of my creativeness. LOL. Some character which I could rant to always, at least I had an aim as to who I was ranting my stuff to everytime I needed to rant..................

Mr BlogPants!

I think Mr BlogPants is coming back, soon. I remember how I used to rant to him always. HAhaha. :) NICE.

And I met Ps Cat and Elisha for lunch just now. Ate KFC and went back to school. Nice fellowship and fun chat :) HEHHH! Made my day! :D

Had a nice chat with Elliot while doing PP. Hahaha, he said some stuff which really hit me, so hard. I mean, its the truth... But why is it so hard for me to come to terms with it. AND now that I have come to terms with it................., what now? How to move on? Haiyer.

Anyway, Im listening to the recording for 1030 am service this week. Seriously, I really thank GOD each time I listen to the song, "I stand in Awe of You". I literally stand in AWE of Him. He taught me certain things while I was playing that song. And I feel like crying everytime I hear the starting part of the song. Not emo, but because I've learnt something, and also I just feel so ...... LOL. Dont know what's the word.

Here I am, Take me. As an offering. Here I am, Giving.... Every part of me, for Your Glory.

Monday, October 05, 2009
I'll say that today was an okay day for me. Wasn't as bad as what I thought it'll be, but then again, it's only the first day, and I've got like at least 9 weeks more in school before my church camp, and then 2 weeks of holidays. And there's another 5 more weeks till Jeremy comes back! And another 8 more weeks till Deb comes back! LOL. :) Excited much.

But, it was really hard to stay awake in class, not because I was tired, it was because Im so used to darkness = sleep. HAHA. And my teacher had to off the lights. RAWR. Change. LOL Okay, stupid logic. HAHA. Im just so bored.

Ive decided to blog down what fruitful stuff I did during the holidays. I've thought hard about it, and realised that it has alot to do with my emotional side. :) The following isn't in any order.

  • Grew closer to a few people.
  • Sorted out feelings.
  • Was able to take time off certain things.
  • Grew a lil closer to God.
  • Learn new ways to vent my anger and rant to God.
  • Learnt how to voice my opinions a bit more.
  • Learnt how to approach people, and not be afraid of them.
  • STREEEET E!
  • PASSED MY GRADE 8...!
  • Went out for ice cream with Sashi, Aunty cy, Amy, Aunty Sheryll, Emma, Bec and Shu ai.
  • Went to Night Safari! :D
  • Found out that I can trust a few more people.
  • Hung out with Clar and Ps Cat.
  • Sometimes Shu Ai stayed over. :) But even though school start, shu ai still can stay over.
  • Attended amazing race.
  • BBQ-ed.
  • Made alot of friends.
  • Stayed out later than usual, on some nights.
  • Went out with grandparents by MRT, spent time with them.
  • Went out with Elliot.
  • OH OH. Went to Grace Assembly. :D Nice church.
  • Spent time at home with Dad on some days.
  • Went out for dinner with my parents. :DD
  • Learning Swing from Aunty CY.
  • Moving on to Diploma.
  • Releasing certain things.
I've got a few more in mind. It is so fun to look back. lol. Spent time in church too. And I don't feel that I've wasted my holidays, because relationships got built. Im sure there's alot more which I just haven't thought about la. I can elaborate one by one, but I remember I told myself not to blog too personal things online alr. So I refrain. So I won't elaborate anything on my blog. :) HAHA.

Nice, and tomorrow's Psychology module. RAWR. :) Fun. School starts at 10am tmr. And ends at 4.30pm. ARGH. So late. HAHA. But then again, no difference.

Alright, see you world.

Sunday, October 04, 2009
I have many things to say about today, but I wont. I refrain.

But anyway, overall, had fun in church la. I guess. *SHRUGS*. I guess I had fun la. I mean, it's the last day of my holidays, my 5 week holidays. Then school starting alr. GOSH. ARGH. Though I know that such is life, in everyone, there'll be this portion in life whereby we will have to go through this type of thing, new stuffs, school reopening, the sian feeling once again. OH WELL. I hope Im not late for school tmr. LOL. The most -0.5 only. LOL. But I needa store grades for Church Camp.

Right now I just wanna sleep. I attended a financial planning thinggy in church, which was kinda fun and funny. hEH.. Such is life.

Random thing, Im falling asleep now eh. Sigh. I wish........ I wishhhhh.................

I wish.....................

Thursday, October 01, 2009
On top of school starting, I realised Im the only one in class who has like 1 friend from my previous class who's in the same class as me. Why?! Why is it that others get 2-3 and I only get 1? RAWR. HAHAHA. Im so irritated I keep laughing.

I had a weird dream 2 nights ago. Made me start to think about my future once again. :/ LOL. Yes, I am thinking. Hahahaha. RAWR. Such is life.

Maybe Im making things complicated. But oh well. I'm doing my PP now. Later Im gonna meet Elliot to finish up my PP. Stressed like mad. HAHAHA. :P NAIS. No choice must do lol. YOU CAN DO IT SAM!!!!!!

And tonight Im heading to church for music prac. :D I guess. My holidays have been really fruitful, one day I'll blog about it. MAYBE 1 day. HAHAH.

Voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid."