Sunday, August 30, 2009
Im procrastinating... oh Jesus..! Help me.

LOL. Procrastinating again................

1 hour later, STILL at it..............

3 hours later, STILL procrastinating............ RAH.

Friday, August 28, 2009
To me, this picture talks about the greatness of God's creation. That the sky can be that colour when it's supposed to be grey/blue/white. The tree can be of that shape, when it's supposed to be tall and oh my. So many things to say. The clouds can be so nicely aligned to each other, when since kindergarten, we were taught that clouds are white and curly like. Uh. God is just so great! Jesus, You're just so amazing.

The song I woke up today with was: How great is our God.

How great is our God
Verse 1:
The splendor of a King,
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice,
All the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in light,
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at his voice,
And trembles at his voice

Chorus:
How great is our God,
sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God

Verse 2:
Age to age he stands
And time is in His Hands
Beginning and the End,
Beginning and the End
The Godhead, Three in one
Father, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb,
The Lion and the Lamb

Chorus:
How great is our God,
sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God

Bridge:
Name above all names
You are Worthy of all praise
and My heart will sing how great
Is our God

Hmm, Read the lyrics, it speaks volume if you actually take time to go listen to it over and over again. :)

Surrender. Oh God, help me. It's so HARD. It really is. Argh. How do I know that I have surrendered totally?

Surrender means: Giving self up to authorities: an act of willing submission to authorities

Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.



When the song "The Stand" bridge started playing... It was so clear, But how? Alot of questions, and surprising reaction from me. But oh well. Such is life eh?

So anyway, plans got cancelled today. :( Im sorry.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Woke up with the song, "Worthy is the lamb" stuck in my head. I realise, since Youth camp, every day without fail, I will get up with a different song in my head, and only today, I realised that I can actually go and listen to that song, and understand it.

Lyrics:
Thank you for the cross Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace

Thank You for this love Lord
Thank You for the nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace

Chorus:
Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious

High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
The Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb

This is the lyrcis of the song. HEH. :) Go read it. It talks about Jesus being soooo worthy that He can actually sit on the throne. And basically, since I have been singing this song, "Worthy is the Lamb" and all, how WORTHY is He and all................... have I been giving Him what He deserves? That in EVERY situation, He is still worthy of my praise. I could go on and on about how Worthy is He.

lol oh my. So deep. HAHAHa. :P Nais. So anyway, Im meeting Joyce for lunch today. :D

See you world.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009
ARGHHH study sam. LAST LAP. LOL. LAST friggin paper.

You can do it! ................ Oh, who am I kidding?

So anyway, Im hungry, I might just head down to macdonalds to have lunch later on. Before my paper. Yeah, I should. I need to buy a meal to reward myself. For what, I also dont know.

See you world. Im off to study.

*focus sam* !

Monday, August 24, 2009

Hmm, I now understand why some people are afraid to spend time (actually sit down and wait on Him) with God, for fear that God will tell them things about themselves/reveal to them whatever they WANT to forget and just....... leave it. But should I have left it? Would things be different? SHould I have not listened and just left it? ......

In a way, I'm quite glad I did it. But the other side, its... "WHY oh why did I do it?"

Today's A&P test. Oh Jesus help me. I've studied already, problem 6-14. Haha. Oh well. I just need to re-read through and revise a lil bit more. But Urghy!

Anyway, listened to the recording of yesterday's worship. I thank God my playing don't sound as harsh as the last time I played. MIGHT be a lil harsh, but not as harsh. HAH. And I keep playing wrongly! RAWRRRRRR! Jesus, help me improve please?

Had an awesome chat with min. Friday, she asked me about the group stuff. Im glad she is helping me with my group thing. :) Hmm, And also, yesterday, over MSN. Made me feel a wee bit secure. LOL. A lil bit better. ARGH. :D

Hmm, Tomorrow's Biochem, MY LAST PAPER. WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO ! I am so happy.

There MUST be more than this.

Saturday, August 22, 2009
Life has such unpredictable endings. We'll never know where this railroad ends. Especially not in this picture. I just wish I'd know how I do. Hmm, many things I won't know and will only find out once I go through it, but I just thank God that theres this lil feeling in me that I know my future's in God's hand. And I find real comfort in knowing that. Really do.

Anyway, Wed I went out with Aunty Sheryll, Emma and Aunty Cy after prayer meeting. It was really fun, and I wish we could hang out more. HAHA :) Anyway, had so much fun chilling around. :)

Friday was my music exam. *deng deng deng* , suspense. HAHA. I don't wanna say anything about it. I am really afraid. But I guess, it's all in God's hands right now, and anyway, I can't do much about it. HAH. Jesus please help me.

After that, Bec, Aunty cy, Aunty sheryll, Emma and I went to Thomson plaza's swensons to have dinner/ice cream. Supposed to have ice cream to CHILL off the stress, BUT.............. hungry uh! HAH. =) And had an awesome time of chilling and laughing and all. HEH. I had so much fun. Then after which, went down to church for radi8.

Ps Cat preached about BGR thing. Which was really good. It really spoke to me. Hmm, I should really really spend more time with Him. *thinks of some practical steps*.... So anyway, Cell group was awesome! :D

Ephesians 3:20.

:)

Anyway, tomorrow's church. And Ive been studying.
See you world.

ANYWAY,

Happy birthday LAY! :)

Jesus, how now brown cow?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Yeah, that's like me this few days. HAHA. TRYING to study. HAHA. A few times successful, but once or twice fail at studying. AH! HAHA. :P Process is the worst to go through, but I guess nothing's free in this world and I can't just waste my life away sitting around hoping things get done. HAHA. (actually, LOL. isnt that what i've been doing?) HAHAHAH. Nice. :P Anyway, Im gonna try to get up early tmr to practice my piano and do last revision. PFFTS. Why am I acting like this is my O lvls? As though if i fail Im dead those type. HAHA. Chill !

And I dreamt last night that I couldnt answer any exam questions. HAHA. That emo dream aside, LOL. A few nights ago, I dreamt that Horatio (the csi dude), he broke my heart. HAHAHAHA. It sounds really stupid typing it out. HAHA. LOL.

This few days have been really crazy. But............. =)

Anyway, today was the last day of this semester with my class. For me, I didn't bond much with anyone, so the departure isn't so bad. HAHA. I guess. But I did make 1 or 2 good friends, thank God for that. People like Denise, she's always been there for me, like she'll talk to me and all, thanks :D You rock!

HAHA. So Chemistry today, the faci bought cake for us and she was quite nice about it. :) So its okay. HAHA.

Went to church and studied after school. I really studied. Honest. Hahah. Thanks Ps Cat. LOL. Aunty sheryll called! :D So anyway, went to the coffee shop for dinner. Ps Cat surprised me with one question, "Do you surpress ur feelings alot?" HAHA. Smth along that line. LOL. I know got the word "surpress" because I don't understand what it means. HAHAHA. Nice. But yeah. =) HAHA. Talk about random.

Anyway, came home, and had a chat with Elliot. He's really been awesome by giving me those inspirational talks when I am afraid of stuffs (which is most of the time), and when I doubt certain things, I'll go to him, and he'll talk to me. I thank God for him. I really do. :) HAHA. Thanks dude ! =) You rock. HEH.

And so, came home and practiced my piano for a bit. And now Im just slacking for a bit, before going on to bed. I hope I wake up early tmr morning. =)

Music class tmr too. =) Can't wait. :D

See you world.
I must MUST do my stuffs tonight. I must.

Saturday, August 15, 2009
Like the picture, I must perservere on. HAHA. It's only 1 more week to my exams. Not even a week, about 3 more days till my first paper, and then 5 more days till my grade 8 exam. And I want to stop studying already. HAHAHA. Only God knows how hard it is to concentrate. Why is it so hard for me to sit down and concentrate? HAHA. One word: Discipline. Although I know I can study one, BUT it's so hard for me to get the momentum and get the discipline to just sit down and study without getting distracted. :/ HAHA. Gosh. God help me.

Yesterday youth was awesome. :) Radi8 launched our carecells today. HAHA. And I wouldn't say that I wasnt scared at all, because I was. I was so afraid, and in fact, I still am. I don't know why. HAHa. But, the fun and laughter during the icebreakers took over the fear and I didn't feel so bad anymore. And it comforted me so much when Ps Cat allowed my GROUP icebreakers to combine with Miah's group. =) But overall, it was okay. Thank You Jesus! Now, what's next? .......... bear ooo scary.............. Jesus, Help me.

Anyway, today woke up too late to do anything, didn't have breakfast, and went straight to church. Thank God I brought my book to study, and went to Ps Cat's office for a bit, then in the end sat there and studied. REALLY studied. HAHA. I am so happy. Thank you ps cat! :) Though the process really ... sucked. HAHAHA. Very HARD.............., but then Im still glad I listened, at least tried to, LOL, and studied. HAHAHA. I guess. :P

Went to the Verve music school with my parents and bec, to test out the piano. HAHA. The piano's touch is really light, thank GOD. At least now it's a lil easier to play and play my pieces I don't need to BANG on the keys. Thank You Jesus! :D Then at 4 plus I had my dinner. AND NOW IM HUNGRY. :( HUNGRYYYYYYYY.. TSK, always like that.

Came home and once again, PROCRASTINATED and screwed the disciplined side of me to study and practice piano. HAHA. ARGH. Lol. I tried, LOL. I just studied another problem tonight. :) HAHA. Tmr then I'll do. HAHA. Oh God help me. :P

So anyway, tomorrow's church again. ANd yeah, I need to go off already, to do my QT and sleep, so I'll be energised and wide awake for tomorrow's service. HAHA. I hope.

:D Clar, watch Up tgt? HAHA. :P TMR? HAHAHAHA :P EHHHHH fake.

Monday, August 10, 2009
I am supposed to go off at 11pm. Not because of any deal I made or what, but then it's personal. HAHA. BUT. AHHHHHHHH SHIT. Plan failed. ............ What's new, sam, what's new?

Its as though I always plan, but fail. HAHa. Esp in this area. HOW? Dun tell me must go back to reporting to people again. LOL. 0.0 NO, cannot.

Today's leaders retreat was awesome. :) Thank You Jesus!

Anyway, I miss jeremy alot suddenly. RAH....................

And talking to zq makes me feel so much better. It is so clear now. At least, at least, I don't feel so bad. HAHAHA. :P Who am I doing all I do, for?

I must MUST MUST go off now. MUST.
See you world.

Thursday, August 06, 2009
"Sam you don't have to logicalise everything, and you don't need to fear"..

Well, thanks Elliot! :) Heh! But how come it's so hard? My mind thinks so much, I start to think so much about everything. I have been told before to learn to listen to my heart, and not my mind because using mind alone, things may seem impossible, but with my heart, God speaks through my heart, the impossible is possible, well something like that.

he asked me a simple qn, and damn, I couldn't answer. But it really is frustrating. It's so frustrating to the point .......... AH. hahaha. Wont continue.

Bible study on wed was good. :) Was reminded once again that we all start with doing little things, no matter how frustrating it is, how annoying it can get, how pissed off I can get, but hey, it all pays off. Doing the chords was really getting quite frustrating, I kept asking God, "WHY ME?" But then the BS we had really reminded me, we start with small, the we get promoted slowly. According to how God sees it. Must still remain faithful. David was just a sherpard boy and he did it faithfully without fail everyday he went out to the fields and did it. If I were him, I'd just give up honestly. Same thing when I had to do the chords, but then, once again, looking at the bigger picture, humble beginnings..... And of cos there was the other parts of the verses, not to belittle what God can do through me and all............ But right now, I'll start with the humble beginnings. :P

So anyway, tomorrow, 7th Aug, is my dad's birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! I love you!

Anyway, I have school tomorrow and it's A&P. Followed by a combined meeting at 7.30pm at night. HEH :)

Just want to curl up in my bed.........

Help me to want it and not HAVE to do it. :)

Monday, August 03, 2009
God, help me priortise! My music exam is coming already, and I practiced today. :) HAHA. But I am wayy too busy this week to practice my piano anymore. OH GOD, help me find time. And when I do find the time, help me not to be lazy. Gosh.

I am getting nervous about my exam. :X I am. In fact, it was during the time where Pastor Wilson made me practice my piano 2 hours a day, where I really saw improvement in my playing. I need to start again. God, help me? I honestly needa stop being so lazy. HAHA.

HAHA. So anyway, Chem sucked today. But oh well. HEH. :) Quite fun I guess. HEH.

Also had a chance to play Fish a Fish on FB. HAHA. Oh well. And I'm watching a scary show now. It is really scary. HAHA. The ghost of a murdered woman come and haunt the kids. OHHH MYYYYYYYY.....................

Managed to practice my piano today. I feel really accomplished.

Its been 49 days....... and today will be the 50th day! :) I am really happy. First time I can last so long. THANK You JESUS! :D I pray it will not end yet.

Sunday, August 02, 2009
One word to describe everything: Ugliness.

Different situations in life, have helped me to see the bad side of man. How man falls, so much so I am so confused now. So So very confused.. Oh Jesus, help me.

But, Im fine. And I had hell lot of fun today. In church, and outside church. Fellowshipping with people, and then going for dinner to celebrate Bec's birthday. Awesome. Laughter, jokes, fun times etc. :) I loved it! And I enjoyed myself so much. HEHEE.

Saturday, August 01, 2009
Isn't there something beautiful,
When you call out that Name?
....
Jesus, there is Power in Your Name.

Yesterday was the end of Pastor Wil as our Youth Pastor.. Heh, as I said, though he'll still be around, I'll still miss him as the youth pastor. HAH. But nevertheless...., he'll still be around. HAHA. =) And therefore I'll have chances to annoy him. AND, do the homework he gives me. HAHA. Nice.

Anyway, yesterday was also the last carecell lesson we had as a carecell. The journey with sashi as my leader, and I under him, was really interesting. Had awesome memories. HAHA. :) I literally was pushed by Sash to do things I really didn't wanna do and things I thought I couldn't do. I guess it all adds up to how I am now. And now this new phase begins............... =) It's quite exciting, really.

Worship yesterday was awesome. Awe-some. HAHA! :) Awesome being able to hear the older youth to play/sing once more. And the best part of it was that God's presence was there. That really made it more awesome than it already was last night. Thank You Jesus! Heh!

So anyway, woke up really early today. 9.15 already got up already. HAHA. WOW! :) That's only cuz bec came banging on the room door and shouting, "DADDY FOUND 2 KITTENS COME AND SEE" but in the end, I guess the kittens ran away. So yeap, I got up for fun. LOL. But never mind, I got a chance to play Fish a Fish on Facebook.

I am supposed to go and practice my piano, oh somebody help me..!

Tonight's a BBQ at grandma's house to celebrate Bec's birthday. Heh! I hope it'll be fun. And I'll try not to think of my computer over there. :) LOL. Nice. Hahaha..

God, where does this lead to? Help me, I pray. ARRR..