Monday, April 14, 2008
Experiencing today, made me feel like a total loser. Seeing how Lay talked to that old aunty, made me wonder ALOT of things. ....... God, would You forgive me? =(

Hmm, Well, in the shower, I thought hard about my prophecy. Thought so hard about the feeling which I felt. Asked God what should I do now that I heard the pastor say the shackles of fear has been broken. Heaven's Opening. =) And felt for myself too. It was so real. Hmm, I heard.................

"Rise Up"

But I said not yet.... And much more. (-) stuff. And the conversation btwn Sash brO and me came to my mind. "Who is this God to you?".....................

Talked to zq bro about me being so scared and all. Sometimes this kinda wake up stuff really wakes you up inside out. LITERALLY. Words he said really cut SO deep, and WOKE me up. Yes, I can pray all I like, If Im not taking that step of faith that God's gonna help, then what's the praying for? If Im not gonna trust in God to HELP me through it (yes, the GOD who created us), then..... Why am I praying? Once again, this brought me back to the talk I had with Sash once again. Everything leads back. Thanks bros............................ Slapped me so hard with the truth. Or should I rephrase it..... The truth slapped me SOOO hard.

Many a times we run to people who can comfort us. (Eg, tell us stuff we WANNA hear, and NOT what we HAVE to hear). When we're feeling sad, down, sensitive, angry whatever, naturally, we ourselves would feel that we're RIGHT to feel however we're feeling. And so, naturally we'd run to people who we know will comfort us no matter how we feel. But I dont think that's right la. Basically, in our lives, we NEED people to SLAP us SOOOOOO HARD.............................................. Yes, we may CRY, get a SHOCK, HATE THEM, dont wanna talk to them, PISSed off and all, BUT, ultimately, its because of these people where we start to realise our faults and OF COS, I EXPECT them to GUIDE me through it la. haha! But yea. Ultimately its God who sends people along. =) And Im thankful.

Yes, these same people who SLAP me SOOO hard with truths and what's right and all, ALSO comfort me, love me, and talk to me when Im sad, discouraged, etc. Thanks !!!!!!!!!!! And u know what? The best part is? Ultimately, its ALL part of a GREATTTTTT PLANNnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The slapping part is the worst. But i realise I get A WHOLE LOT better after it. =)

Thank You Lord for sending people like that. =) Who loves me, yet at the same time come down so hard on me (correcting me), Yet when Im down and all, talks to me, ENCOURAGES me.............................. etc...... and ALL with love...................... i LOVE You Father!!! =)