Saturday, September 08, 2007
Compulsory musicians meeting,and I can't attend cuz of stupid prelims. Nope, that doesnt give me any excuse not to attend it. I can't stand it anymore. i really cant. I shouldnt be writing it all out here. I've SHOUTED it to Big Daddy above MANY times. and felt so much better. Thanks for listening. Literally SHOUTED.

Why am i taking my Os this year..... when im so unprepared? Why am i 16 and not 15? Why am i Samantha Koh and not someone better? WHY did i have to listen to that sermon Ps Wil preached about yesterday? Why does God love me so much? Why am i in my school? Why, after doing all my work, TRYING to please parents, i can't go out and enjoy myself at all? Why must i please so many people? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??? So many reasons. and.. WHY the hell must i live up to people's expectations and when I give my expectations, no one cares?? i dont understand. Why am i put on earth?

that's random qns. which i doubt anyone will be able to answer for me. AT ALL. so yeah. hahaha. Okay, next week is all the difficult papers. Why like that??? *see another why* haha.

Ps wil preached about Not belittling yourself or sth. What he said really got to me. Like seriously. And I wont look down on myself anymore.

we broke up in our groups, and Ps wil asked us to say out sth belittle ourselves. I said," im small and dumb." I didnt like saying it, but i guess.. yeah. And Sab said this,"you're not dumb. you're very intelligent." when i heard that i started thinking, maybe i aint that dumb. THANK YOU.... :) and yeah sis said sth like,"you're not dumb la. your not dumb." thanks. :)

"i will not belittle myself, i CAN do it.." for....
"i can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13